Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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