just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
