just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
