i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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