ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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