I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
