i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
