I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
