K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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