kristin has been a bad kristin
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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