why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
