Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
