butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I cockslap morals
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
