Do vagina's smell?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
