I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
