When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
