I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
