I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
