is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
