so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
