My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I looked at my own cervix.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
