She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
