We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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