You made me cry and you don't even care
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
