I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
