Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude i'm inner monologue high
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
