and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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