The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
