Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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