he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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