you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
