id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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