Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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