just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
