physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
