Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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