About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
