Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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