Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
