how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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