bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
