there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
