OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
