By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't want my vagina anymore.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
