So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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