quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
