I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
