my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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