did you get engaged???
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
