You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
