I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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