I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
