Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
