maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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