Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
