i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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