Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
